Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Spac-handed buffoonery

Emap Images was many things but it was never grateful. Life on Mean Machines was hard work and the 'fun' came from the games and the lads making the best out of the long days. The team developed a unique vocabulary that, when combined with odd facial expressions, could accurately assess a team members ability whether it be their gaming skills or work. Just like Emap management, the editors learnt to totally avoid congratulating any of the staff for their efforts. It was of course necessary to refer to oneself as 'The Master' when taking screenshots or playing the software through for the mag. Staff had to then recreate the magic or face a barrage of insults. Myself and Richard honed these insults down into a wordless distortion of the face and a twitching right hand. Tongue out and hand tilted and shaking, this cretinous form was the perfect accomplice to someones spac-handed muppetry. Imagine my joy when the master of the mong hand himself, Davros, made a spectacular return to our TV screens a few days ago. It's fair to say that quite a few staff members truly sucked at games, perfectly mimicking the gaming talents of the Dalek creator himself.



So that's why the Phone Box Fiend always referred to himself as The Master. I assume 'Spender' originated from the same office buffoonery?

The use of the name 'Faruk' as a euphemism for all that was f***ed up in the office was always my personal favourite, although that obviously originated from the Computec years.

Gary Harrod said...

Did not hear Faruk. Sounds crap too. Spender was common though mainly from Richard who always had an eye for Jimmy Nail, as was evidenced by the wall of auf Weidersien posters behind his desk.